When I woke up this morning, I felt pretty good. I was ready. This is how I felt:
When I approached the giant warehouse where I would be spending the next three days, my confidence disappeared. There was a huge line of cars waiting to turn into the parking lot and people everywhere. They all looked more prepared than me. It brought me back to reality. This is how I felt:
But I did not go home, instead I just had a quasi-public cry. On my way in, I ran into a classmate. He’s a nice guy, but I’m not particularly close to him. He was outside smoking so I said “hello.” He responded, “you look terrified.” I tried to laugh it off and said, “do I really look that bad,” but as the words came out of my mouth I could hear my voice cracking and tears were starting to form. “Do you need a hug?” he replied. I just shook my head yes, started crying, and hugged a classmate I don’t really even know all that well.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??
So then after my awkward hug/cry I dropped off my sandwich I had purchased at a gas station on the way to the test warehouse and then went inside the testing room. We went through the instructions, I opened the packet, and read the essay. I don’t know why I was surprised, but it was exactly the same as all the other essays I had practiced. I knew how to do this! I felt good again!!
Then we went to lunch and I made the mistake of talking about the essays to friends/eavesdropping on strangers’ conversations. This is how it made me feel:
Eight essays later, the first day of the exam was over. I stopped to get some Chipotle and the girl forgot my sour cream. I didn’t realize it until I was ten minutes away. This is how I felt:
When I finally got home, I tried to study, but I just couldn’t do it. Instead, I watched Bunheads and ate a burrito sans sour cream. Bunheads is this really silly show on ABC Family. I’m still not quite sure what it’s about, but it seems to focus a few ballerinas and a woman who speaks only in puns and talks far too much and far too quickly. It’s not really that good, but it was exactly what I needed!
Today was stressful, but the good news is that I am only two days away from sitting by a pool with an US Weekly and a frozen margarita!!